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clmv7b3rk000j08jq65pfbiwt Looking For Signs

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As I go back over past years, the changes in our family and in particular Ronin, I find myself thinking if there were signs. Signs of what? Signs of not being happy as a girl. In this photo, "she" was very happy to be feminine, with dyed long black hair, lashes and makeup. She was also happily involved in a long term 3 year relationship with a boy. Ronin now tells me, this is who he was expected to be at that time . So, he maintained this super feminine side in order to be loved and accepted. Are you also looking for signs in your child? If so, ring me for a chat and further understanding.

clm5qs04w000c08mofi2j4rhc Setting him free !

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You know Ronin, the real truth is I just feel that by having you here indefinitely, we are holding you back from who you were meant to be. I feel guilty when I think about that." I don't want you to become so reliant on us, so that you're still at home with your parents when you're 40 . That would stunt your growth in all sorts of ways". I was hoping Ronin would see the truth in this, but he huffed out of the kitchen. His coffee left to go cold, once again.

cllqax7ut000h08ih8d1d5msg Your spirit remains the same !~

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"I don't know why Mum, I'm still the same person", he responds. He is genuinely shocked when I inform him that he has changed. It's not just his outward appearance, but his personality, likes and dislikes. I agree, as I always have that, "your spirit remains the same, but he has lots of different ways now."

cllgkqruf000b08l7ao9i1dbp There are tears!

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It is the day before his operation and he has planned to drive down to Brisbane. Upon Ronin's suggestion, I ask the family to join us at a local cafe. I think he's a little sheepish to say he'd like to see us all get together to farewell him, and he wants me to arrange it for him. I'm not in control of my feelings at the moment and worry about being too emotional in front of them all. There are tears, but they are tears of resignation and acceptance.

cll8kg0zq000d08mldzduhki7 That operation!

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I speak to him the next night, and he tells me now he has a new operation date being the 18th of February. The surgeon has seen the psychologist's approval and its now deemed his breasts should be removed. A feeling of doom descends upon me, as if I'm waiting to be led to the gallows. My reprieve is over, and I must face reality and that dreadful operation again. Covid causes different rules for Australia, and our government has decided that due to Covid, elective surgeries will not be given preference over necessary ones. Therefore, Ronin's operation is deferred again.

cll0jq2lk000t08l4gqkj2w6y Free to love and support him

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Now I feel freer to love and support him having shared the letters of what was in my heart. Did I get a great response from him? Not really. Although I would have liked to hear from him, I need to be content knowing I've told him my feelings and memories of raising him. I suppose because he's been so vehement about wanting to rid himself of Rachael, I wanted to defend the memory of Rachael.

clkm5sb9p000b08l5cv637txf Letters from my heart

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Hi there. It's been a busy time, but I would like to continue with the story of you. YOU are important, who YOU are, who YOU are becoming. YOU have been a big part of my life, for the past 23 years I have grown by knowing YOU, in ways I could never have imagined. You, may not have loved yourself, but I always have. I just want you to know, I wouldn't have swapped you for the world. So, I continue with the story of YOU.

clkc3pxch000m08lafgw0bfti I miss Rachael

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The relationship between Ronin and I is undergoing some sort of supernatural surgery. I have to let go of the need to feel responsible for his safety, the influences in life that could hurt him. I notice I'm not ready to chase after him and catch him if he falls. This is a new feeling, and at first it seems strange. I grow to realise , that I've been liberated to a certain degree from my motherhood slavery. I decide not to question it or put it under a microscope. I've had enough distress and will gladly enjoy this new sense of freedom.

clk3e9neb000x08mndbfp86qp The floodgates opened!

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That Sunday I meet up with my friend Linda at the Bayswater Hotel.There are a couple of other friends there too. All Linda did, was mention that I'd been sad, and that was it. The floodgates opened. I'd previously been composed around friends, but all amsks were off now.They all consoled me, reassuring me it would all be alright. I am not used to raining on a friend's parade, and was annoyed that I'd been unable to control myself. I reason, I must be going through the worst of it now, and that surely soon this will pass. While seated at the table, one of my friends suggests the Healing Rooms.

cljntlxq7001308mfby6sca0r If you judge people, you have no time to love them!

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This week marks 15 years in Hervey Bay. I feel thankful, relieved the hardest part is over. I've made it to their twenties. It has been the biggest adventure. I celebrate posting a photo of the girls and I at the RSL club fifteen years ago. I look exhausted, Olivia is defiant, Sophie looks bored , Ronin has a look of not having a care in the world. It's a look I remember well. Sweetness, love, vulnerability. I peer closer at it to find a trace of a boy. No, just a little girl in a fluffy coat. I decide I haven't been so naive after all.

clj7yywih000h08ju8e4jf2q6 Getting the pronouns right!

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I affirm that he has enough to handle on his own, without having to navigate emotional territories around partners. He may be going through some huge changes in his body and mind, but I am relieved to find he has retained his maturity and wisdom. Maybe I did do something right as a mother, after all.During this chat, he addresses a couple of his friends as "they", "them","their". He explains this is because some people don't want to be identified as either male or female on their transgender journey. If they aren't referred to in the way they prefer, it can make them feel disrespected,ignored.

clj104ntx000b08kx70d8be3j Changes

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"I've just come in for a shower Mum" That's usually what Ronin says, but it's not him is it? With my heart beating fast, I pause at the stairs, and decide not to move. I am paralysed with a coldness that starts at the heart and flows down my body.It's him and that dreaded voice change, its happened.The Rachael voice is gone,and it fills me with such despair, I want to scream with pain of it.For the first time in my life, I realise I haven't recognised my own child, the one I gave birth to.My tears flow as I head for the jug to make a cup of tea.As if it could possibly help me to overcome this.

clilcdmxu000e08jn96srdvvu Winter Wellness Package: Revitalise Your Immune System with Aromatouch Tech

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Boost your immune system this winter with the revitalising "Aromatouch technique." Immerse yourself in an hour-long journey where eight exquisite DoTERRA oils harmonize to nourish your body and promote overall health. For a limited time in June, enjoy this rejuvenating experience for just $65, instead of the regular $75. Don't miss out on prioritising your well-being at an unbeatable value. Invest in your immune system this winter and embrace the power of nature. Let the Aromatouch technique unlock your body's potential for optimal wellness.

clii976b6000g08mg9zq10opo Ronin: A Name of Destiny

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📚 Book Lovers, Listen Up! 📚 Introducing "My Transgender Son" - a captivating tale of friendship and self-discovery. During a tea chat, we search for a name to capture Rachael's essence. Ronan emerges, evolving into Ronin - a perfect fit for her newfound identity. But here's the twist. I wonder, "What if I stayed silent? What name would Rachael have chosen?" Discover the power of choice, words, and influence as Rachael embraces her identity and learns to trust her instincts. Embark on a transformative journey of self-discovery, friendship, and the power of a single decision.

cli599s0r000d08mi1hh51qcc Cheering him on !

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Shaun and I realize we are walking on fragile ground here, and that our reactions are being keenly observed by Rachael. Looking back to this day, the truth is we decided that we had to be her cheer squad. She is relying on us to support her, so she feels courageous enough to take the next step forward. I feel conflicted, as I've always felt comfortable, even proud to be a woman, so struggle with her separation from it. Thankfully, God has given me the ability to see both sides of a situation, and to empathize with others. ..."Mum that wasn't me being a tomboy. That was me wishing I was a boy"

clhyhn86l000m08mfhbaw4mvk A terrible shock!

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Rachael is in a hospital bed hooked up to a ventilator,her body lurching forward as strange desperate sounds emanate from her lungs in a quest to breathe. The staff advise me that they think she is having a panic attack. The gurgling sounds reach a crescendo. Sophie is seated by her side, and both she and the nurses beg me to do something to calm her down. I spring into action, between gasps, I reassure her that everything will be alright. She is trying to tell me something, but her desperate breathing will not allow it. The alien antiseptic smell of hospital surrounds ...

clhb7eeal000s08l8632hck8y The beginnings

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In the beginning, I felt afraid that if she didn't get the help she needed, she could become suicidal . I wanted to be her best friend, talk to her as much as she needed and try to find answers for her. There was the time of feeling it was all about Rachael, and that my own feelings didn't matter to my family. What was I going to do to cope with my grief and fear? Being afraid that Rachael might change her body only to regret it at a later stage. placed a burden on me as the mother. Wasn't I supposed to protect her, guide her,rescue her? What if changing her gender really could make her happy.

clglovj12000g08l0a5nacpso My Transgender Son- lets start at the very beginning!

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I would like to share with you some of the journey of my own daughter Rachael transitioning to become my son Ronin. It was not an easy journey, but I learnt a lot along the way, and had a transition of my own attitude in the process. I recorded the changes, my emotions, realisations and healing in my own journal. Upon completion of this very private journal, I decided it was too precious not to share it & created "My Transgender Son". I now want to reach out to other parents and families and help guide them through this unknown territory. I plan on doing regular posts to reveal how to heal!